Warfare

I'm lying on my dads sofa, swathed in comforting yellow fleecey blanketness, miiiiles away from college and 'home'. For the last few weeks relations between my house'mates' and I have degenerated into a toilet-dipped-toothbrush type of farce which finally came to a head (for me at least) on Monday this week. The funny element has escaped me, retalliation has had bugger all effect and the whole situation has left me a trembling mess of both anger and anxiety. Thusly, El Docitori has signed me off for two weeks and instructed me to get out of that place pronto. So I did. An hour after my appointment I was all packed up and out of there, heading back up north and flooded with temporary relief.
The added stress of it all is that I'm tied into the place 'til July and my only way out is to find someone else to take over the tenancy. That scenario would be fine if it was merely a case of not getting on with oneanother. But as it stands, I'm a totall wreckymess when I'm anywhere near the place and cant take another minute of it. College work and concentration are swiftly going down the pan and I've noticed myself withdrawing once again *sigh*. As much as I want and need to speak to my friends back home, and indeed at college, I'm finding it difficult to know where to start..feeling bloody useless and stupid for 'letting' this situation get to me/happen, thinking I'm in the way or taking up time etc etc. This would be that downward spiral of artistic temperament/black dog that I'm so keen to avoid then, eh. Wonderful. the self doubt is well under way, whirring constantly in the background wherever I go.
"Fuck em!" I say. And also "if in doubt, RUN AWAY!!!" (I know, how terribly brave of me).

*stares into the distance and loses train of thought..*

Identity Thumbnail 111109

Ok, yes yes, I confess..I HAVE been at college since September and no, I haven't posted even ONE blog thus far! *blush* But here I am, finally laptopped and internetted and ready to go!

(I'd just like to thank the two Santas for delivering the technology so far ahead of Christmas. Much love and thankness.)

So, erm, hmmm..I'm not entirely in the mood for recapping the last two months excitement at the minute so I'll just explain this here lil picture. We've been subjected to weeks of using 'Identity' as a base for our projects and tasks. The last two weeks have finally involved paint *wets pants* and collage *grimmace*. the attached photo is of a thumbnail for the 'final piece' regarding identity, which should have collage in it somewhere and, thankfully, as much paint and mixed media as takes ones fancy. Up until this moment I'd kept my personal line drawing take-it-everywhere sketchbook completely seperate from the college course. Then it dawned on me that it could be included as part of my identity *rolls eyes* so the photocopier was fired up, scissors wielded and a whole mess of glue, acrylic, vegetable oil and inks were whisked up to produce the above. I've posted it as it's so far removed from anything I've ever done independantly and I'm pleased as punch with the suprises and effects. Bravo for accidents.
As for the actual final piece...nope, I still have no idea what I'm doing. And only three weeks to sort it out and finish. Wish me luck!..